Those eager to have an international work experience often consider themselves open-minded spirits ready to embrace different ways of living and working. But when the initial high of being in a new country wears off and reality sets in, new expatriates very often go into culture shock. Big time.
“Most expats,” says culture trainer and author Dean Foster, “do not expect to actually go through culture shock to the degree that most actually do.” This compounds a melancholy, which can include irritability, depression or insomnia, that has already started to set in.
When expats relocate to countries they believe will be similar, such as going from the United States to Britain, Foster says there is an “unexpected disappointment of experiencing culture shock.”
For those moving to a totally different culture, he observes, “there is the disappointment at not being the ‘uber-human’ most expats expect of themselves, and the disappointment of not being able to handle something that at first they may have felt fully confident to do.”
But going through the training that Foster and others like him offer can soften the landing. Foster’s program, for example, lasts two days, the first focusing on adjusting to life concerns, the second dealing with understanding the work culture. For US$4,500, the whole family is invited to participate in the class and receive a take-home cultural guide as well as lunch that will be typical of the new country. Foster, who counts Astra Zeneca and Coca Cola among his clients, also offers individual follow-up counseling once the family is on assignment.
Participants go away with a better understanding of how to adjust to “foreign” work and life conditions. They have a “better understanding of their own cultural biases, and of themselves as ‘cultural beings’ in a new environment,” says Foster.
Interestingly enough, many expats who opted out of culture training on their first international assignment are quick to sign up on subsequent stints abroad, Foster notes.
For those who skipped culture training prior to relocation, there are programs available once the shock starts to set in. Kate Zabriskie owns Business Training Works, a Maryland-based firm that is frequently hired to help bridge cultural differences when the adjustment isn’t going well. Zabriskie’s one-day sessions start at US$3,200. “Do you want to learn the hard way or the easy way? A class can make all the difference in the world,” Zabriskie contends.
She also offers pre-departure culture training, which touches on everything from nuanced communication differences to basics of daily life. Though formal training can have great value, even Foster says that at some point there is a lot to be said for “sucking it up and bringing out all the best sense of adventure, good humor and curiosity for new experiences and new cultures can take you far.”
Here are a few stories/circumstances that have occured to people in my organization. I guess with a little pre-trip training, things may have gone a little different.
In Germany last year we ate at the hotel the night we arrived. It was a wonderful meal and the service was excellent. When it came to pay the bill we talked about the tip and I said I thought in Europe you only tipped 10%. However, because the service was so good we tipped 20%. The server seemed extremely thrilled with our tip!! The next morning at breakfast we started a conversation with the server (the same server we had every morning). She talked about how they went to school for two years to have this position and it is considered a very good job and they get paid very well. We learned that she didn’t expect a tip!!
When I went to china I was picked up at the airport by one man and two women. They drove me to the hotel and helped me get my luggage to my room. What shocked me, was that they all went into the room with me. They stayed for several minutes and even asked if they could help me unpack. I graciously declined the offer and asked if they wanted to go somewhere with me or go out for a drink. They said, “Do you?” I said, “No, I’m good – I’m very tired and would like to rest… alone.” They were very nice and soon left. It was awkward for me… it didn’t seem odd at all for them.
A few more:
My first time in Asia (Tokyo) I sat down in a little restaurant and ordered something to eat. What I got was a soup-like meal with meat in it. I looked around and everyone was holding the bowl up to their faces and using the chopsticks to shovel and slurp the food in. It seemed a bit odd and perhaps rude, but when in Rome….so I started slurping, even though I felt totally self conscious about it.
Another time in Luxembourg I ordered a Bloody Mary. In Europe, they serve mixed drinks “Unmixed”. You get a shot glass with the alcohol and another glass with the mix (no ice). This is to ensure accuracy of the amount of alcohol. With the Bloody Mary, they also gave me tobasco and a little plate with celery, lime etc. I looked at the guy like “What the hell is this?”.
One final cultural thing in most other countries is how you count with your finger. In many countries, to hold up your index finger is similar to “flipping the bird” here. So when counting, one normally starts with their thumb.
Cheers