We look for star quality in politicians and actors, but rarely do we find it among corporate leaders. And, no, we’re not just talking about good looks. The quality known as charisma is an intangible, but valuable career asset, too.
Does it translate well from one culture to another? “The notion of charisma is extremely culture-specific,” says Olivia Fox Cabane, executive director of Spitfire Communications, who coaches leaders on this topic. “Be cautious with taking what has worked at home and trying to work it abroad. A big part of American charisma is making yourself look human and vulnerable - that can be suicide in Germany.”
Cabane, a 28-year-old entrepreneur, lawyer and author, who has two passports (U.S. & France), holds three degrees from two countries and is fluent in four languages, is one of the few among us who has shopped on different continents for where to live. Cabane, who has lived and worked in seven countries on three continents, says she evaluated countries on the basis of where her personal charisma would work best. She loves France, but felt that “lacking gray hair” she would never be taken seriously there.
She has gone to some extremes to win people over. “When I first started lecturing at the United Nations I was 24-years-old,” says Cabane. “I knew that I couldn’t go in there with my 24-year-old face and be listened to with any degree of respect - so I wore stage makeup.” Â
She chose to dive into the melting pot, New York City. “I knew my personality would fit well in the U.S., she says.”Once I gain gray hairs I will start to come back to France and then later go to Asia.”
Cabane’s best advice about charisma?
- When you meet someone, Cabane says, “Try to be all about them. Try to keep the spotlight on the other person for as long as possible. Don’t try to impress them, let them impress you and they will love you.”
- Another first encounter tip: “Your quickest step toward charisma is drinking them in with your eyes,” says Cabane.
- Unfortunately, one approach doesn’t play everywhere. “Once you have a good solid foundation you also need to learn the country-specific rules of communication - how formal or informal. Body language differs from country to country. It means quite a bit of research.”
Cabane’s clients, who include corporate consultants and executives, are encouraged to think out of the box. “You have to play to your strengths - the world is your playing field,” says the author of The Pocket Guide to Becoming a Superstar in Your Field. “Look at the world as your market. Where in it are your skills most valuable?”
For charisma-impaired careerists, Cabane offers hope that charisma can be taught.
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Here’s a couple of other thoughts on charisma in foreign countries. While it’s great to keep the spotlight on the other person, there’s also great value in keeping the spotlight on their country and culture. That means showing an informed interest in what’s going on at that moment in their country. The first thing I do before making a call to an international client is to look at an online newspaper for their country. Almost all countries have english language versions. Have some sense of their history, but more importantly some idea of what is going on politically and culturally, and in the sporting world in their country. If their country is in the middle of a major soccer (football) tournament, and you don’t know about it, you’d seem like a fish out of water. It doesn’t matter so much if you don’t know anything about their sport, but to acknowledge their excitement and focus, will always win charisma points.
If you’re travelling to another country, read their paper on the airplane (there are lots of pictures if you don’t know the language). Otherwise pick up a newspaper at the airport for the ride into the city and ask the driver about what you see in the paper. Most taxi drivers speak rudimentary english, so you may even find it an enjoyable conversation. You may even be able to get a more localized point of view about whatever the your country has been up to as per their local paper. The interpretation of however the your country is portrayed may not be how you understand the situation, but it will give you a greater insight/ context to any other conversations you may have. I’ve worked or lived in over 45 countries and still look on my conversations with taxi drivers as among the most interesting. They have no reason to be filter their feelings about any subject, local or about your country.
It is important if you’re sincere about wanting to gain insights to not put your point of view into play during these taxi talks. Otherwise you may find all you’re doing is arguing about whether your perspective or their’s is the more correct one. Ask questions, and follow up with ones like, “Why would they think that?” or “Why did that happen?”. What do you think they’ll do next?”
You’ll be more informed and when you talk to your colleagues they’ll see that you’re actually interested in not just them, but their country what makes them proud. You’ll find that charisma is also based on showing interest in what people are proud of. Most people are very proud of their country. Sometimes in some countries, there is a mistaken sense that talking about pride in your country requires making a comparison to other countries. “At least we’re not like xxxxxland, because we are free to yyyyy”. Understand that all countries, like individuals are proud of something. Your ability to tap into that pride whether individual or national is essential to charisma.