Archives for Perfect Job

In a piece called The Worst Jobs in Science, Popular Science magazine takes us places the angels at the Discovery Channel would refuse to tread. After reading this list, to which I have added sage career commentary, tell us about your worst job!

10. Orangutan-Pee Collector

Apparently an analysis of Orangutan urine is a leading indicator of their stress levels. But a follow up study is needed to determine the following: Does chasing after primates to collect their pee add to the primate’s stress level? Pee collectors understand the inherent risks. Our advice: don’t hang out in the jungle if you can’t take a little spillage.

9. NASA Ballerina
To test a robot on its ability to dance with the stars NASA hired a brave ballerina and apparently outfitted her with steel-toed slippers. Here’s where to check it out. You thought I was making this up, didn’t you?

8. Do-Gooder (Eco-volunteers)

“Every year thousands of desk jockeys sign up with the nonprofit Earthwatch Institute and pay as much as $3,000 a week to pitch in on scientific expeditions,” says Popular Science. Recently one do-gooder as they put it was bit by some critter that put a “golf ball size welt on his forehead.” According to the article, Eco-volunteers are asked to shovel dirt, test dirt, measure frost melt. Cool. The best part of it is killing mosquitoes.

7. Semen Washers

This happens at a sperm bank. Enough said.

6. Volcanologist

“Let us count the ways you can get offed as a volcanologist: There’s the magma, of course. There are also pyroclastic flows-incinerating clouds of gas, rock, ash, trees and other debris-sulfur dioxide gas, and volcano-melted glaciers called lahars that descend down a mountainside like an avalanche of quick-dry cement.,” says the article. Dozens of Volcanologists have died in these types of accidents in recent years. Who knew?

5. Nuclear-Weapons Scientist

Your friends will fear for your life and theirs. But the real hazard is the high-security environment in which a mishandled document can land you behind bars. Is it worth it?

4. Extremophile Excavator

Imagine a microbe that lives in some of the harshest, most foul-smelling places on earth. Your job is to excavate these little beasts so they can be put to work eating arsenic-laden soil. I wouldn’t do it for a PhD from Oxford.

3. Kansas Biology Teacher

It’s hard to believe that there are two worse jobs than this. Science teachers should receive hazard pay to teach Evolution to students who don’t believe in it in a school district that doesn’t support it. This is going to do wonders for Kansas children’s global competitiveness.

2. Manure Inspector

Pity the scientists who wade through cattle or hog poop to test manure for harmful bacteria. These scientists are on the front lines of protecting our food supply from the evils of E.coli and salmonella among other problems.

1. Human Lab Rat

You may not have been aware that scientists run tests on humans that aren’t always good for you. According to the Popular Science article, University of California at San Diego paid students $15 an hour last year “to have the root killer and World War I nerve agent chloropicrin shot into their eyes and noses. Chloropicrin is also a component of tear gas.” No word yet on whether the Chloropicrin is a good root killer.

My worst job ever? At age 15 I was hired to help book players on tennis courts at a country club. My second day of work I showed up in tennis whites and was handed a jack-hammer and instructed to tear-up the deck around the swimming pool.  I’m sure you can top that one!